Dating on campus
I like going to bars and clubs with friends, but the majority of the people you meet in a bar want something more casual.Even though dating has always been my priority, I haven’t really done much of it because of convenience.Ed Suriano, a senior linebacker at State University of New York in Brockport, was a freshman in September 2012, when Alexandra Kogut, a freshman swimmer at the school, was beaten to death by her boyfriend in her dorm room.The team heard about her death over breakfast on game day that weekend. I'll never forget it.” Suriano and Kogut had recently partnered on a project, and had met up multiple times in the library in the first three weeks of the semester.Abusers will also violate a partner’s consent and pressure her into sex. According to the Violence Policy Center, “more than 90 percent of women murdered by men are killed by someone they know” and “63 percent [of those] were wives or other intimate acquaintances of their killers.” That is equivalent to two or three women being killed every day in the United States by their partners.One of those women was Kelsey Annese, a senior captain on the SUNY Geneseo women’s basketball team.It seems that for many students who identify as queer, connecting with their LGBTQ centers on campus, interest groups, and online dating apps are the ways they're seeking out and finding others to go on dates with.Here's what our interviewees had to say:“If I were ambitious enough to keep a Little Black Book, it would be a sad, sad testament as to why dating in college isn't realistic for a gay man at a Big 10 school.
They agreed to participate in Yards for Yeardley, an awareness campaign where students at a campus spend all day running, tallying as many yards as possible.Two of Suriano’s teammates were close friends of Kogut. Her death, he says, “really was the first experience I had with relationship violence.” According to Love is Respect, a project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline that works to end dating violence among young people, 43 percent of women in college report being in a violent or abusive relationship.“To see the shock in their eyes, the terrible feelings,” Suriano says, was hard. Critically, “57 percent say [abuse] is difficult to identify and 58 percent say they don’t know how to help someone who’s experiencing it.” Kogut’s death led Suriano, who is president of the State University of New York Athletic Conference’s Student Athlete Advisory Committee, to commit himself to working to prevent athlete violence on campus.Everyone I dated — excuse me, hooked up with — wanted one thing: fun.
No sit-down-and-split-the-bill dates, no cuddling in a twin-sized bed, no wearing each other's sweatshirts.Some highlights: the 6'3” lumberjack who used me to make his closeted best friend (and current fiancée!